Tuesday, May 28, 2013

How I Almost Made it Though Monday: Todays TIp of The Day explained

  I am sure you are all asking yourselves "why should I not watch The Voice ?" Well ladies and gentlemen let me explain. The first folly of watching The Voice on a Monday evening is that it airs from 8-10pm. Which is of course way past the bedtime of any reasonable person, and that alone is a good reason to PVR it and watch it the next morning while you are eating breakfast and wishing the Giro was still happening ! I failed to do this however and set into action a chain of events that I am quite positive have altered my life forever... well at least the sensory receptors in my nose. By not PVRing The Voice last night and staying up to watch the whole show I pushed back the time at which I took my girlfriend's dog out for her night time poop walk. This turned out the be fatal mistake of my Monday, which up until this point it had been a pretty good day ! I had played some Tennis (by myself) and only lost one tennis ball ! I had launched this Blog, and... well that's pretty much it. But it had been a good day ! So we embark on the poop walk with nothing out of the ordinary (except the time, much later than recommended). We were almost done the walk,(be it an unsuccessful walk as no poop had emerged) when disaster struck ! Disaster is the name of a notorious neighbourhood skunk and Disaster didn't so much strike as she did spray. I know I probably don't need to say anymore than that but I will.

  Most of you probably think you know what it smells like when a skunk chooses to emit the most foul of odours, because you have driven or ridden or walked by an area where a skunk has been run over or frightened. But let me tell you ! When it happens a meter from where you are standing and there are only a few scraggly shrub branches to protect you, it is decidedly more potent ! This whole event happened as I was fishing the keys out of my pocket to open the front door of the apartment. And in so doing enter the apartment and end the poop walk. That's how close I got to making it though my Monday !! If I could have just made it three more steps ! But alas I did not, and so began the task of de-skunking myself (mainly just my clothes) and the dog. I finally got to bed at about 11:30 which is way past a bike racers bedtime. I left all the windows wide open in a hope the lingering head-ache inducing stench would clear by morning. Which I am not convinced it has, I feel like I may have just gotten used to it. Needless to say there are a lot of ways one could avoid finding themselves in this situation. Number 1: Don't babysit your girlfriends dog, seems pretty obvious but not an option for me. Number 2: Don't live in a building that has shrubs leading right up to the door because skunks love hiding in shrubs, again not an option for me at the present but I am working on it. And last but not least number 3: Don't watch The Voice on Monday evenings because it will delay the poop walk from about 8:30pm (it is still light outside at 8:30 and thus the chances of a skunk being in the shrub are greatly reduced) to about 10:07pm when it is dark and there was a 100% chance of a skunk being in the shrub. So as you can see option 3 was the only one available to me, and that kids is why I chose it as the tip of the day.

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